she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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