genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
In America we eat man semen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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