i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
