Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
