it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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