I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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