Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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