I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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