I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
