Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
