Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
