Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
