Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
