I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
