my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
