I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
