i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
