The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
