Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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