so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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