somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
