i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The power of my boobs compel you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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