dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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