id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
