these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
