I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
