so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
