Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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