I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
