I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
