Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
