I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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