This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
