DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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