Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're too hungover to prance.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
