Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
