69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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