plz talk dirty to me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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