found the other keg... it's in the tree
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
