all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
