Im at strip club and am horny
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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