You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
