I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
