6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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