i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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