sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize