Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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