i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
