I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
