that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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