he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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