oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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