When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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